I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
