I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
