If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
