I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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