Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
