shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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