i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
