I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
