All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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