I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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