4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
