ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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