butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How does one acquire holy water?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize