Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
