I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
