PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
