Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
