Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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