This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i've created a new STD.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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