I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
