lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
