those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
dude. I can hear the air.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
