I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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