Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
