I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
