Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
