Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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