i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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