Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
