Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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