So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
