Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
