he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
