We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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