you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
