I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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