Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
