just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
