i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
