i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize