it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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