her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
