he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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