i will never coherently bang her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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