Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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