Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
