i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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