I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
