Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How external is "for external use only"?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
