exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
