When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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