At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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