My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
